I Turned Around
As of today, I have a child who's a senior in high school.
Max just finished his finals. It was on the heels of another big event, my oldest nephew graduating from college.
Who coined the phrase, "Warp speed?"
Those are big turning points for my nephew Ike, (really Isaac) and Max. They grew up right under my nose. Ike as close as 7 or 8 blocks away.
I turned around . It was years, and years, later.
I remember the day Ike was born. I was charged with keeping my wonderful parents occupied. I got a sitter. Barry and I went to a restaurant with the two of them, known for terribly slow service, on purpose. My sister's labor went on and on. My folks walked the Central West End with us. We sat in the lobby of Barnes-Jewish. It was way before cell phones were in use. We were at my brother-in-law's mercy for updates.
I took my first look at that adorable little bundle.
I turned around. He's in the procession at Indiana University smiling, happy, successful. Where did it go?
How the heck did this happen? My sister just had him. I promise you.
And Max. I just walked him to the first day of school. We had the tradition. The kids posed on the front steps for pictures before they walked to Meramec Elementary from our house across the street on the first day of school. Hand in hand I marched Max across the street to kindergarten in Ms. Dillon's class. I put him in his seat. I made sure the pencils and kleenex were all in order at his desk.
I turned around.
Prestige Photo wants us to schedule his senior picture session in June. We have to go to Grinnell College to talk to the baseball coach. Max needs to take the ACT's just once more, for maybe, that final crucial point. How did this happen? Where did it go?
Stacks of papers on my desk. To do lists a mile long. It's not just me, it's everyone. Too much to do, not enough time. Can I make myself promise to savor every day of his senior year? Can I make it a point to pin him down so we can actually have a conversation every day? Can I try to get to almost all the home baseball games? Can I volunteer at Homecoming so I can just catch a glimpse? (That one, maybe not).
I hope so. Not that I don't love what I do, because I am thrilled with my work life. Not that any working mom out there doesn't feel good about contributing to a greater purpose. But I look back at Ike's graduation. It flew by. I can picture Max walking into Meramec Elementary as clear as day. I just don't want to be at this desk a year from now, on his graduation day, reflecting on his senior year, without some mental snapshots. Then it's okay if it went fast. Then it's alright if I'm sitting at the Clayton graduation saying,
I turned around, and it was over.
