Nina Day
Last Sunday was one of my favorite days of the year, Nina Day. You won't find it on any calendar. Hallmark never makes cards for it. Nina Day is actually my invention. It doesn't get a lot of publicity.

Nina Leah is my 13 year old niece, named for my late parents. She is remarkable. She's smart, kind, athletic, and, of course, adorable. She has compassion and sensitivity that I find rare in a young woman her age. I'm biased. She's my only St. Louis based niece and clearly my favorite. The fact she's named for both my parents only makes me love her more.

At any rate, ever since she was old enough to get it, we have been celebrating Nina Day. It's a day long tribute to Nina, scheduled roughly somewhere around her birthday. My entire family naturally attends her birthday parties, but Nina Day is much more private. The day is usually reserved for Nina and me, with a limited appearance from my younger son, who also really loves her. He will come for the dining out portion and usually the movie.

Naturally, Nina gets to do whatever she wants on Nina Day. We haven't branched out a lot from movies, lunch or dinner and of course shopping. Some years, depending on how much junk food we've had, there is the possibility of ice cream. In the spirit of full disclosure, I often eat mine and part of hers.
As she gets older, I'd like us to consider other activities. A Broadway play. Maybe a visit to Max when he goes to college.

This year, we shopped for accessories, since she was good on clothes.
With two sons I don't get to do the girly thing real often, except when my sister invites me along on a shopping trip. So, unlike the mothers of teenage girls, I'm thrilled to troop through a mall, looking at virtually every dress, jeans or sweater
on any rack.

Nina Day keeps me in touch with that part of the culture, which truly should be part of my job. Besides the obvious bonding, I get to find out what's hot at Claire's or some other teenaged mecca. I find out what's going on at school and what her camp friends and school friends are up to. We cover everything- news about her brothers, her cousins, our entire family, as well as the latest hot topic at school. We make plans for the next trip we may be going on together with the rest of the family and generally, as our my son would say, just chill.

We have pretty much the same taste in movies. (After working in a newsroom, sad, deep and depressing are usually off my list.)
The movie excursion includes a logistics option. We always hope to sit in the first row of the stadium seating in the theatre because then you can put your feet on the rail.

Nina Day always includes lots of junkfood and some kid friendly dining. Possibly ice cream following.

I try to see Nina a lot otherwise. I love watching her play basketball. Our families have the tradition of Sunday night dinner more often than not.

But this time, the yearly Nina Day, is different. We really talk. I feel I know her a little bit better each year.

Being the aunt isn't being the mom. It's a different relationship in different dimensions. It's often all the fun stuff without the worrying. With a kid like Nina, it couldn't be a bigger joy.


As we were driving along on this Nina Day, I told her no matter where she went to college I would fly there for Nina Day.

"You don't have to, Aunt Rave," she told me.
( That's my treasured nickname which is a long story for another time.)
"I'll come home."

Not a chance, Nina Leah. I'm getting quality time no matter where you are. And a movie. And shopping. Dinner. And possibly ice cream.
¶ 6:17 PM 0 comments

Family My boys see each other very rarely, since one lives at the other end of the earth.
Actually, he lives in California, but it might as well be Mars for as often as we see him.

In the times everyone is home, it's heartwarming to see our two sons together, huddled on the couch with so little space between them. I think our younger son wants as much face time as possible with his big brother. I had been so worried that their huge age difference would be a detriment. As it turns out almost six years separates them and its been an advantage in many ways. They have each found identities that suit them, without competition. At least that's my read, without having been a child development specialist.

But in the time our older son was home very recently, they did a lot together, even though our younger son could have easily been with friends.

The part that had me worried, though, was what I couldn't remember. Seeing them together I tried to recall day to day when they were small. The times when they went tearing through the house, playing ball or pretending they were World Federation Wrestlers, have gone by in a blur. I can remember isolated incidents, prompted by photographs or, back then, videotape.


But what about every day?

Granted, I've worked many bizarre shifts, having signed on for a career in tv news. When I was the Executive Producer for the early dayparts, I was going to bed before the boys. But still, shouldn't I be able to remember what it was like on a daily basis?

Maybe that's the way a mom keeps her sanity, only remembering the highlights, the snapshots we carry around in our memories, of the baseball banquet, the
fifth grade play, the Halloween parade.
I don't know if it's survival or just the way life works. But as those boys sat on the couch, watching the 93rd consecutive sporting event, I made it a point to remember the moment.
I need to remember how lucky I was that my husband and I could give them each other. I hope I can keep the sights and sounds of their bond preserved in my head. ¶ 11:41 AM 0 comments