Embracing Life Fully In the wake of the Kirkwood shootings and with spring on its way, my thoughts have been on what to do to make the most of life each day. I have come to believe that it's not the "big" events in our life which make life special, but the everyday moments and occurences which we often overlook. When we start paying attention to life moment to moment, we discover a richness and satisfaction behind surface appearances, and begin to experience the wonder that life is.



So, here's an article I wrote this month for the Java Journal, which you can visit at javajournalonline. Hope you enjoy it, that it gets you to thinking, savoring your life more, and as always, send your comments to me at stlmomsworld.com.

The following are my recommendations about how to live each day fully.

1. Live in the now. Savor each moment. Too often, we get distracted with what we have to do next or what happened in the past. Instead, put your attention on what you’re doing. If you’re out walking, notice the trees, listen to the wind, feel the sun, smell the air. Take a shower and focus on the sensations you experience not your to-do list. Almost any activity can become satisfying and enjoyable when you are fully present.

2. Greet each day with wonder. Although as human beings we crave predictability and do what we can to insure it, the world is alive with possibility. There is so much that can happen in a day, positive and negative, which we have no idea of. When you wake up tell yourself, I will not judge this day or decide I know what’s ahead. I will let the day unfold and see what comes my way. Then I’ll decide what to do. I will let openness and mindfulness guide me.

3. Focus on what’s important. One of Steven Covey’s most insightful remarks is that we spend most of our time doing what’s urgent but not important. We carry our lengthy to-do list, yet it rarely includes items like time talking with our children, visiting a friend, sharing affection with our partner, practicing self-care. When tragedy occurs, we regret we may have made getting the laundry or dishes done more of a priority. So, tomorrow when your 5 year old wants to show you their latest art project or your teenager has 10 minutes to talk, stop and do what’s important. All we can be certain of is today.

4. Leave the past behind. Too many of us keep wounding ourselves with what’s angered or hurt us. Remember, yesterday is gone. At a cellular level, you are literally a different person today than you were the day before. Give expression to your feelings of hurt, anger, disappointment, frustration, when they occur and then let them go. Don’t hang on to these feelings. They will only poison you. The miracle of life is that each moment offers a new opportunity to change how we think, feel, act and live.

5. Practice forgiveness. Like #4, it’s important to let go of feeling wronged by forgiving those who we feel have treated us badly. Although forgiveness may take time and not be easy, when we forgive, we clear a path within our souls for compassion and peace. As many spiritual teachers have noted, holding on to hatred and hostility ultimately weakens us, and damages us more than anyone else can.

6. Practice gratitude. Even during times of trial, remember what you’re grateful for. The other day our hot water tank went out, followed by the pilot light on our furnace 2 nights later. After both were repaired, I was so grateful for a hot shower in a warm house. More than that, I felt gratitude for my cozy home, my wonderful family, a career love. Keep your focus on what you have instead of what’s missing. Life is abundant. Be grateful.


7. Cherish loved ones. Spend time with the people who are important to you. Don’t wait until a birthday, anniversary or special occasion, to appreciate others. Show them each day by giving your attention, affection, and time. Stay in touch through letters, e-mail, cell phones, whatever works. Do something that they’d enjoy, like watching sports with your husband or taking your 8 year old to the zoo. Care in small and big ways.

8. Extend lovingkindness. Start with those you love, then your community, then those you dislike, then the whole planet. Make your intention to be kind, respectful, accepting and compassionate toward everyone, starting with yourself. Ghandi said “Become the change you want to see in the world”. While we may not be able to prevent bad things from happening, we can help mend the world by practicing lovingkindness.

9. “Don’t die with your music still in you”. This quote is from Wayne Dyer who has inspired many of us to create the lives we want. Despite the multiple responsibilities required for our lives to run smoothly, we need to pay attention to what makes our heart sing and make time to pursue it. For me, one of these is writing. When Marian Rein first asked me to write for Java Journal, I thought “How will I fit this in?” Now I can’t imagine being without it. So, find your music and express it. It will bring you much joy!

10. Know that you are part of a bigger whole. One of my favorite Disney songs is “The Circle of Life” from the Lion King. To me, it captures the idea that all of us are connected and the illusion is that we seem separate from each other. But, each of us is important. Each of us makes a difference, and by embracing life fully, makes the world a better place,

When bad things happen like the Kirkwood shootings, we feel lost and helpless to mend our world. Yet, the power lies in each of us, choice by choice, day by day. We must make our goal to be better than we were the day before, more alive, more present, more compassionate, more connected with what’s truly important-each other. Only in doing so can we create a world where life is respected above all else. Only in doing so can we become all we are and more.

Warmly, Diane ¶ 9:41 AM